Luke Stano

Truly an old soul placed in a young body, Luke Solky Stano was full of energy and wisdom beyond his years. He knew without a doubt what his life was all about – learning, laughing and helping other people do the same.

During the early 1990s, American pop culture was undergoing its latest change. As the World Wide Web increased its following, CDs outsold cassette tapes and beanie babies flew off store shelves in record numbers. The Stano family, meanwhile, was anxiously awaiting the birth of their first child. Paul and Mary Clare (Solky) Stano were married in 1987, and although they were both busy in the careers as psychologists, they were looking forward to starting their own family, which took longer than expected. When the couple found out they were finally expecting their first child, Mary Clare recalled, “We were so happy.” And to add to their joy, Mary Clare’s sister was also pregnant at the same time and everyone was excited these cousins would grow up together. With the nursery ready and his parents anxiously waiting, their healthy baby boy, Luke Solky Stano, made his arrival on November 14, 1994, in Pontiac, Michigan. Now that Mary Clare had children of her own, although she continued to work, she left school at Wayne State University where she was taking doctoral classes to devote herself to the role of a mother.

Luke was later joined by little sister, Miranda, on December 12, 1997, and he took great pride in his role as big brother. When she was old enough to start school, Luke protectively walked her to class, putting her school materials and coat in their proper places before kissing her goodbye. Faithfully he did this every day, until little Miranda’s teacher told Paul and Mary Clare that she needed to learn to do these things on her own. But Luke’s loving heart could not be deterred from watching over his sister. He would get off the bus before her, making sure to take her hand to cross the street and cautiously pointing out puddles or ice patches she needed to avoid. Two peas in a pod, he and Miranda always got along well. They played together at home and had imaginary games that no one else could play or understand. When Luke became sick, it was Miranda’s turn to dot on her brother and she did little things to help along, like tucking napkins through the bathroom door when he needed them.

It was obvious from a young age that Luke was a bright boy who wanted to understand the world around him. One of his teachers once said that Luke had an inquisitive nature, and if the situation was explained rationally, he could grasp just about anything. Luke attended St. Fabian Catholic School and had many good friends. At the age of 8, he was diagnosed with cancer and endured chemotherapy and radiation treatments. During the process he lost his hair and took to wearing a baseball cap. Upon his return to school, Luke found his fellow classmates also donning caps so not to make him feel singled out or different. Although a beautiful gesture, Luke felt people needed to accept him for who he was and eventually gave up wearing his hat.

Luke was always thinking of other people, not just his family. On the way to the Children’s Hospital in Detroit, he had a first hand view of homeless people and this truly moved his young heart. He and his parents began making sandwiches and kept extra coats in the car to hand out to those less fortunate by the hospital. There was always a special something twinkling inside of Luke. He had a very mature nature and his benevolent heart shone in many forms. When with his loving grandmother, he always extended his hand of help to her and never failed to help carry the groceries. And when it came to battling his cancer, Luke was a strong warrior with a positive outlook, and often times was even encouragement to his parents. They would hold each other up with fighting words like “when the going get tough, the tough get going” or Winston Churchill’s famous quote “never, never, never give up.”

Luke was not your typical 10-year-old boy; he adamantly told his family “I love you” with a kiss goodbye when they left his bedroom at night. He did not want to miss an opportunity to express his love for them. And unlike his peers, Luke insisted he wasn’t going to be one of those teens who blew off his parents. It was Luke’s incredibly kind heart that made him the young man everyone was proud to know and Paul, Luke’s father, often tenderly called his son “his hero.” In the last two years, Paul had noticed a more spiritual aura about Luke, like how saints are set apart special from the rest of us, this is how Paul saw his son.

Although he was an exceptionally amazing young man, Luke also bore the mark of a normal kid. Saturday morning cartoons, video games, playing with his cousins and neighborhood friends, Derek and Ethan, and collecting Yu-Gi-Oh game cards were just some of his favorite things. He was a Cub Scout member and was actively involved with Kids Kicking Cancer since 2003. Aside from having fun through this program, Luke learned pain management techniques and it deepened his faith and spirituality, plus he really liked the karate aspect of it. Because he was very articulate in his speaking, Luke was interviewed for various magazines and television documentaries about his program and in 2003, he even participated with his classmates in a demonstration at the Comerica Park before the game.

Time together as a family was always important to the Stano family and they took many opportunities to create unforgettable memories that would last a lifetime. Just five months before his diagnosis, Luke and his father shared one such moment at Kensington Park where they completed an 8 ½ mile circle biking around Kent Lake, a feat Luke was very proud of, but even more special was that he shared it with his dad. Last summer, they once again tried to make this journey around Kent Lake, however, with little Miranda just getting her training wheels off her bike, the trip wasn’t quite as easy and they did not finish. The family also traveled to Florida, visiting Busch Gardens and Sea World, which Luke truly loved. In 2003, they ventured out west to the Grand Canyon to which an awestruck Luke replied “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life.” Luke also enjoyed camping and visiting his father’s family in Ironwood in the Upper Peninsula. In their quiet moments at home, Luke and his mother enjoyed reading Harry Potter books together, which helped pass a lot of time at the hospital too. The last thing they did as a family was to sit down with some popcorn to watch Finding Nemo together, but Luke was concerned since some animated films were not his mother’s favorite and he wanted her to have fun too.

Luke and his father were undeniably good pals and shared plenty of private jokes and loved to wrestle around together. His father knew just how to make Luke laugh. One of his secret antics was telling his children, “Your mom makes you do these things because she loves you very much. Your dad makes you do these things because he’s EVIL” – and he made sure to use a funny, yet spooky voice when emphasizing EVIL, which invariably made his children laugh. One of Luke’s most endearing traits, which his mother loved, was his need to cuddle. He often called her to lay with him until he fell asleep. What a beautiful memory of her perfect little angel in his peaceful slumber.

Although Luke’s life was short, his memory will live on in the hearts and minds of many people whose lives he touched with his positive attitude, his tender heart and his overwhelming love and compassion for everyone and everything.

Luke Solky Stano died on Saturday, January 29, 2005. Loving son of Paul and Mary Clare (Solky) Stano. Brother to Miranda, age 7. Grandson of Mary Solky, Betty Stano, the late Arthur Solky, and the late Gregory Stano. Cousin to Kristin, Heather, Ashley, Kevin, Riley, Alicia, and Aron. Survived by his godparents, Carol and Edward J. Lawson, his many aunts and uncles, family and friends.

Friends may spend time with Luke’s family on Tuesday, February 1, at McCabe Life Story Funeral Home, 31950 West 12 Mile Road, Farmington Hills, Michigan, from 2-9 p.m. with an evening service at 7:00 p.m. A funeral mass will be held on Wednesday, February 2, at St. Fabian Catholic Church, Farmington Hills, with in-state at 10:30 a.m. and Mass beginning at 11:00 a.m. Please visit Luke’s personal memory page at www.lifestorynet.com where you may share a memory, order flowers or make a memorial contribution to either St. Fabian Catholic School or Kids Kicking Cancer.